Starting From Zero

I had surgery in the very early part of 2010 on my left knee. I had been ordered by my surgeon to stay off of it in August of '09, and a week after the incisions were made, she told me to stay off of it until July except for walking around associated with working. Emphatically: NO RUNNING until July.

Well, July is here. I started "running" again on the first day I was allowed to, and it felt heinous. Mentally, I know I am capable of faster, longer, easier runs than what I have been doing, so it has been grueling to stick to slow paces and short distances as I work back to where I was. Not entirely sure that I'll ever get back there, but I am trying.

Unfortunately, the going is slow, as is necessitated by the nature of my original injury and consequential surgery. I am thrilled to be up to 2 miles. I wish it were 22, but, its not. In the process of returning to my higher mileage/faster paced runs, Ill be learning how to lift again.

Lots of work in front of me. Im not too thrilled, but not too intimidated. I really enjoy a challenge, but this seems a little daunting.

Bummin'

After graduating with a B.S. in microbiology in 2006, I dreamt of attending the University of Hawaii at Manoa. I applied and was ready to go when they notified me that I had been declined admissions because my institution had sent the wrong person's transcripts to them not once, but twice. It took me a long time to move on, but I had to; I got a job, I got an apartment, I started a life.

The way things are right now, I am not guaranteed a job. (Not that I ever was.) It looks more and more certain that I will be laid off shortly, which is why the EMT-Basic program is a good thing. It allows me a chance to learn a new skill that I can use in the event that I lose my job.

The master plan since, oh, 2008, was to get to Hawaii. I am currently still on the east coast, and am exploring the possibility and realities of living there when I return in the fall. A big part of  that plan was to work as an EMT until I find something that pays better, and go back to school.

Well, today whilst I was perusing the UH website, I stumbled across the tuition rate. I probably should have checked that out earlier and all, but I didnt. Now it feels as if I have been kicked in the kidneys. I can literally feel my dreams slipping out of my fingers. I am really, truly bummed out. The cost is out of my range, unless I marry someone with deep pockets who wants to send me to school. It would be easier to just give up, and I am feeling like that might be the option I go with. I am already living with a lot of regret--- what's one more?

My finances are a shambles already, though theyre not nearly as bad as some people's. Im grateful for everything and everyone I have in my life; I just wonder if its enough for me to be happy with?

EMT Stuff

I get that when youre learning to be an EMT, and when youre a working EMT too, that youre gonna have to actually touch people. Really, I get that. I am not opposed to that.

HOWEVER

I AM opposed to people touching ME.

Class on Saturday was horrendous. If I never have to be splinted again ever it will be too soon. It really wasnt necessary to have someone prod me in the bum to try to find the bone in my ass. It was really less than pleasant and a hell of a lot more than just "awkward."

Saturday was a less than enjoyable day, and thus I am extremely grateful to be back to my real job in the chemistry lab. No one manhandles me here. Sheesh...

Lake Champlain

Further Proof...

...that its fate for me to go back to Hawaii? The dream I had last night was pretty indicative that I am meant to relocate there. I dreamt that I was happy, working as an EMT while studying for my master's degree in nursing. (Just go with it; details aren't important.) It was close to tangible. I could smell the coffee as I walked by the Kona Coffee Company. I could feel the sand between my toes, and the breeze on my skin. Lovely.

Honolulu, Take II

Well, I had a seriously lovely surprise yesterday morning. Fortuitous. Serendipitous.

For the last couple of months, under the gun of possibly being laid off, I have been researching options. I am currently enrolled in an EMT-B program. Since I'm fairly certain that I'm going to be laid off, I needed a way to get a job in a crappy market; since Massachusetts is in the midst of a hugescandal involving paramedics/emts falsifying re-certifications, chances are good that I will be able to land one pretty fast.
I've been kicking around the idea of moving to Hawaii for some time, now. I'm quite serious about it, actually, which is a change for me. Arranging a cross-country move is hard enough, and the move is trans-Pacific. So I figured that returning would be a good idea to get a feel for the place outside of the scope of vacation.

That brings us to yesterday.
One of the few friends (seriously, like, 3) who lives in Honolulu sent me a message asking when I was coming back. I responded that I'd return when I knew what my vacation allotment would be. Out of boredom while standardizing the Karl Fischer autotitrator, I checked out flights at Orbitz.

I found a roundtrip flight from Logan to Honolulu for $587.

So, hot damn! I bought it, and am returning to check out apartments, employment, and education situations when I go there. (I almost typed 'home.' I should have left it that way!)

It's destiny!